Where do I fit
A blog about identity, social location, and consumerism.
By Bailey Falco
I chose this name for the blog because for so long, and still, I do not know where I fit. Do not get me started on business casual clothes (I will make a post about it).
Where do i fit
#001
Thrifting in context
Main Ideas
- Fashion and thrifting has helped me explore and understand my gender and audhd identities (yep, it’s all wrapped up together).
- I have always been interested in context and understanding my surroundings and how spaces shape my collective identity (yes, I have a degree in Psychology).
An introduction to a new blog about identity, social location, and consumerism.
By Bailey Falco
Let’s talk Social location
Social identities AND the spaces we exist in make us who we are
Pictured is a gray SNES game controller with blue buttons on a yellow back drop, a pink cord and yellow stars above and below it.
A person's social location is defined as the combination of their identities (gender, race, social class, ability, etc.) AND their geographic location.
I completed a project in undergrad about social location in a Feminist Theories class where I had to connect spaces that I have been in with my social identities. I wrote about how I often played at my best friend's house when I was in elementary school, a best friend whom we once vowed to never wear a dress on the school playground swings (but we wore matching skort sets from Target, we swore it was different). When we grew a little older and my friend started to change, she wanted to wear dresses and party. I no longer associated her house with GameCube and Sunny D, but instead, it was a place where I felt ostracized. She talked about the boys she liked, and I was not interested, I felt like I was falling behind. I still wanted to play Monkeyball.
In hindsight, while working on this project, I could see the connections between her house, my gender identity, and my autism. She grew out of her tomboy phase, and I embraced it (until later when I started to embrace femininity again; I realized I did not have to choose one binary over the other, but I could switch back and forth or blend them). She somehow knew all of the tips and tricks of socialization, and I hadn't a clue. I started to avoid her house and other spaces where I had to socialize extensively, or I suffered through it, and they called me the quiet kid.
Pictured (left) is a sketched drawing representing one person in connection to six other p-eople by lines and (right) is a basic map represented by lines with a location pin in red and green
Let’s talk Identity & fashion
From my perspective as a non-binary and audhd person
Pictured is a multi-colored Tangle toy
Thrifting (because I did not grow up with money) was a refuge because of the opportunities fashion offers in exploring identity and confidence. It was also a physical space where I could put on my headphones and touch every texture. You could go to the same thrift store (I have a comfort one) or you could visit stores in different cities, states or even countries (In the UK they are called charity shops). It is crazy to think about how the girls on my lacrosse team in high school made fun of me for thrifting and look where we are today. I bet they all thrift. Or consign.
As I mentioned earlier, I initially turned away from all things feminine. I wanted to be one of the boys - except I never really was. In 5th grade, I wore the same big old baggy navy sweatshirt every day because I had the smallest boobs that I was ever so conscious about. I had a friend who ONLY wore Abercrombie and Fitch (thinking back on this, this was kind of weird) and at some point, she gave me a shirt, maybe it was for my birthday. The shirt was thin and tight. I hated it. But I sort of wanted to fit in. I wore it under my sweatshirt. One day while playing kickball during recess, I got too hot and could not keep wearing my sweatshirt. When I took it off, all the boys exclaimed, “I thought you were fat.”
Pictured is a (left) pair of purple and yellow headphones, and (right) a blue and yellow snake fidget toy
OOTD
This is my favorite jacket folks! It is truly a sight, and I love it.
This outfit was inspired by my desperate desire for it to be warm outside because I do not want to wear pants anymore. I have always hated pants (remember, I wore skorts). The constant agony and ringing in my ears when someone would ask “Aren’t you cold, I would be?” I never understood, and I still don’t, what they wanted me to say.
Pictured is a (left) photo of me with my leg in the air and leaning back, (middle) sitting on pavement and petting my dog, (right) standing but bendng my knees = slightly with my hands in the pockets.
Next up, this sweatshirt is also one of my favorite finds. I found it in a Goodwill in Florida when I visited one of my friends. Florida is the perfect place to find clothing from old people - especially the most cliche and funny ones. I had a phase around the time I found it where I was applying to colleges and for my top choices, I bought ‘School name’ Dad shirts.
You may or may not believe me, but I was made fun of for wearing leg warmers and arm warmers in middle school. I thought it was cool, so I wore them anyway. I did not thrift these however, I begged my mom to make them for me when I was 12. Wizards of Waverly Place was my favorite show and Selena Gomez was my crush. I would spend hours on Polyvore recreating her outfits. Trying to remember the name of the website just sent me back. It was shut down in 2018; how dare they? It would have been iconic to look at the outfit boards I made.
Pictured (left) is the sign outside of the thrift store, the Attic and (right) are multiple varieties of doughnuts from Vegan Treats
“Compassion has never tasted so delicious.”
Have you ever been to Vegan Treats? Every once in a while I make the hour-and-a-half drive to Bethlehem PA to get doughnuts, cakes, and of course the soft serve. I found these FILAs for $20 in the coolest thrift/consignment shop, the Attic. While some items were pricier, I found a nice range in cost at this shop. Because this is my first post for this blog, I am going to save diving into the history for another post. I want to be thorough and maybe take another drive...
If I start talking about Neurolux glasses, I will never stop, and this isn’t sponsored. DISCLAIMER, these were not thrifted. I have light sensitivity that has caused me to suffer from migraines that, at times, have persisted for 10 days at a time. I found these lenses by asking around on Facebook groups for autistic people and they were recommended by multiple people. I was going to be working in an office at the time under loads of fluorescent lighting, so I knew I needed to try something. It was life changing. I went from having migraines once a week to every few months. There is the aspect of them looking like sunglasses (they have an orange tint) and me thinking everyone is judging me for wearing them because they think they are sunglasses. Working in a courthouse at the time definitely played a role because of how disrespectful it would be to wear actual sunglasses in a courtroom in front of a judge. Rules are nonsense.
I have learned that a big part of accommodating yourself is putting yourself first regardless of anything and everyone. You might stand out a bit due to the nature of neurotypical being centered, and you’re on the margins. When you assert yourself into the center, where you belong, it tends to make people uncomfortable.
I also recognize that being White carries a privilege in how much I can resist and what my limits are. Using fidget toys and having a meltdown in public will look different for me (and receive different reactions) than it would for a POC. I am finally listening to Unmasking Autism: Discovering the new faces of neurodiversity by Devon Price. I haven't had the energy to read books much lately, because I have been in a state of burnout for so long. I currently work in a factory where I have been able to listen to books and music all day long. First, they are also a social psychologist (I will be applying for PhD in December), and I relate so much to them. Second, I love hearing the experiences of other autistic people with varying social identities and how their experiences as autistic people are nuanced. I could not recommend this book enough. I am ready to shout from the rooftops.
I like making people uncomfortable
Yeehaw denim jacket, Joanna®
Ocean Twp, NJ
Coolest grandpa in the world, Hane’s® Activewear
Orlando, FL
An old Jojo Siwa dress that I cut in half and is now a skirt
Crocheted leg warmers my mom made me when I was in middle school
Pastel striped high tops, FILA
Bethlehem, PA
Pictured is the cover of Devon Price’s book Unmasking Autism.
Mustard beanie, Goodfellow™ & co
Glasses, Oliver, Neurolux™
About the author
Hi! I am bailey (she/they). I have been thrifting for about 14 years now. I am non-binary and autistic and fashion has been a major outlet for me to explore who I am and to have fun. I have a degree in Social Psychology with a minor in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality studies.
Pictured (left) is me leaning against a concrete wall with one foot on the wall and (right) is me facing the wall showing my denim jacket with an embroidered cowboy hat and boot on it.
Pictured is a spoitfy player showing the current song on repeat, Coffee by Chappell Roan
What’s next?
What can I expect from future blog posts?
In future posts, I want to….
- Spotlight different thrift shops and talk about their histories as businesses as well as the histories of the neighborhoods they take up space in. What does the community look like, and how does it translate to the clothes on the racks?
- Show off my cool finds and talk about their histories as well.
- Share stories about my experiences as an audhd non-binary person in relation to thrifting and clothes.
- Talk with other folks and learn about their experiences
Stuff to read
If you wanna learn a little more
Here are two articles I found that are concise:
Where do i fit
#002
Main Ideas
- Fashion and thrifting have helped me explore and understand my gender and audhd identities (yep, it’s all wrapped up together).
- I have always been interested in context and understanding my surroundings and how spaces shape my collective identity (yes, I have a degree in Psychology).
Business Torture
Trying to be me when I’m a rat
By Bailey Falco
Let’s Talk...
Let’s talk Business Torture Casual
And the hell that it is
I have been going to the Goodwill down the street from me for over 10 years now. In the beginning, when I was younger, I did not think much about its origin or the relative ‘good’ it was doing. It was a place where I could express my individuality and afford clothes at the same time. For the one shirt I could buy from Target for $20, I could buy five or so articles of clothing, all depending on the sale, what color tag it was, and what pieces called to me. I used to be able to get a shirt on the normal rack for maybe $1.99 or $2.99, I do not remember exactly, but the prices have skyrocketed. A shirt is what, $4.99 now? It does not seem like a big difference, but it can be when you are out of work or recently found a job and maybe it’s in an office and you do not have any business casual attire.
TRIGGER WARNING - this paragraph, weight loss, body dysmorphia
That was me! When I returned from the UK after my master's program, none of my clothes fit me anymore. And I did not own much in regard to dress pants and blouses, to begin with. I lost a lot of weight while I was gone because of all the walking I was doing. On a side note, I truly enjoyed living in a city where I could walk everywhere. However, when I started a job in a courthouse, I knew I needed to buy new (thrifted) clothes for it. Having body dysmorphia, I did not have a clue what size I was. I often ended up buying clothes that were too big for me. But at this point, since my weight loss was so drastic, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of multi-colored Goodwill price tags. I ultimately guessed and tried to use analytical thinking about how much I lost and how much I should go down from my original guess. Essentially, I was doing complicated mind games, because I could not try them on in the store anymore. They closed the dressing rooms. I ended up picking pants that were only a little big for me, it was a win.
Pictured (left) is a close up image of a flannel article of clothing and (right) is repetitive multi-color ruffles
Additionally, I did not have any clothes remotely close to business casual to begin with because I hated wearing them. Whether it was the fit, the texture, or the drab design of it (most often gendered), I was and have always been uncomfortable. When I see other people in business casual, I can see the binary of it. I did not want to pick one style over the other and if I didn't, I stood out.
The problem with it
There were too many rules, and I didn't want to follow any of them, but I also needed a job. My track record has been that I would start wearing the appropriate clothes and then slowly lose my mind and then gradually start to violate the dress code little by little, which sometimes became an issue. I thought I had to wear a champagne-colored blouse and a pencil skirt. I did not understand the norm, but I knew I could not wear the clothes everyone else wore and make it through the day. Adapting to the norm would be detrimental to my autistic self. I was tired of masking and burning out because I had to wear khakis, or I thought I did. I do not think I could have survived middle school or high school if I couldn't wear what I wanted. I remember one of the top essay prompt choices being about whether schools should have uniforms or not. It always angered me when students agreed and especially if they wanted uniforms in our school. I never picked the topic because I knew I would get too passionate about it and then end up angry and inconsolable. I knew that if I had to follow any more rules at school, I would explode.
My solution
I started exploring clothing that technically was acceptable per the dress code document but was colorful, fun, and non-irritating. Getting dressed in the morning is an essential part of my day, and I cannot deny myself of it; it is a little joy I cannot do without. If I am going to work in an office, I am going to have fun with it. It has been tricky exploring what I feel good in while simultaneously having to simply not care what others think of me. Easier said than done, yes. It is more of a slow crawl up Kingda Ka at Six Flags to build that confidence, but it has been worth it.
Quotes
I sent out a survey to learn from others and thier experiences with business casual fashion; here are two from two disabled and neurodivergent people who I can relate greatly to.
It limits your self expression and is oftentimes a very vague “dress code.” Also — annoying that basically the only business casual summer option is a dress or skirt, because I’m pretty sure shorts would be seen as inappropriate. Short sleeve tops are suitable in most cases (once again, vague) but if I’m wearing long pants with a short sleeve shirt I’m still going to be too warm in the summer.”
“I think they enforce a lot of gender roles and expectations on people based as they are perceived. Additionally, not all fashion is accessible with disabilities. I certainly don’t do heels based on my non feminine appearance but I couldn’t if I wanted to.”
Let’s talk goodwill
Is it actually good?
Pictured (left) is the Goodwill logo, a blue background with half of a white face on the left cut off and (above) a stack of folded jeans and shirts.
1896
Helms meets Fred Moore, a young man on his way to becoming a business executive. Moore volunteers to help Helms’ efforts.
1889
Edgar James Helms enrolls in Boston University Theological School, but feels “called to the ministry.”
With burlap bags, Helms goes door to door in Boston’s wealthiest districts to collect donations.
Pictured (left) is a pair of red Mary Jane shoes with yellow laces
1920
With the Methodist church backing expansion, there were 15 Goodwill locations. In the upcoming decades, however, Goodwill becomes more secular.
1918
The Vocational Rehabilitation Act becomes law, aiming to assist veterans with disabilities returning from World War I.
1960
Goodwill becomes the leader in vocational rehabilitation.
1902
The year Goodwill Industries is officially born.
1990
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is signed into law; Goodwill evolves to address other workplace barriers (welfare dependency, lack of work experience, illiteracy, and past criminal histories).
Goodwill Industries International, Inc. (2005, June 22).
Edgar Helms may have been good intentioned when he started Goodwill, but the reality of the treatment of disabled people throughout the decades and the corporations descent into the grasp of capitalism are undeniably evident in the qualitative lived experiences of disabled people working at the corporation. I started reading a dissertation (Grimm, 2002) about disabled people who worked for Goodwill from the 1920s to the 1970s. However, I could not finish reading it, because I could not find the full text online. Hmm. A dissertation about disability, yet it is inaccessible. I tried to find the author in hopes of contacting him, but I could not find him online. I really do not want to pay $40 for it, because I truly cannot afford to, but it was compelling. I might do it. I may return to this in another post.
Grimm (2002) demonstrates the stark difference between the poor pay received by disabled people and the public perception of how much good the corporation was doing (based primarily on how many disabled people they were employing). Like all capitalist businesses, it sought out profit. While certain laws were put into place (Vocational Rehabilitation Act, 1918; Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), 1990), they did not and still do not guarantee justice. It’s incredibly difficult to prove that an employer fired you, or that you receive less pay than an able-bodied coworker in the same position because you are disabled.
Quantitative statistics do not account for qualitative lived experiences
Pictured (left) is a person perceiving themselves in the mirror.
The community and its reflection
The Goodwill that I have frequented many times is located in Ocean Twp, NJ. It is closely adjacent to Neptune and Asbury Park. Goodwills are shaped by their donators. This Goodwill has the greatest range in style and original cost of clothes that I have seen. I once found a purple and pink paisley Ralph Lauren long sleeve night shirt. And I have been in quite a few Goodwills in different spots. Not only in NJ, but across the country. While it has been an invaluable resource for the working class population in these towns, the prices keep going up. Certain brands are also put aside and priced differently, more expensively, because, how could they make more money off of marginalized people? All of the shirts used to go with all of the shirts, and it would be a hunt and a thrill to find a brand you loved, but couldn’t quite afford new.
OOTD
Flannel dress shirt,
Goodwill; Ocean Twp, NJ
Checkered dress pants,
Goodwill; Ocean Twp, NJ
Glasses,
Odette Mink/Tortoise Fade,
Neurolux™; Online
Christmas cactus socks,
Target; Ocean Twp, NJ
Teletubbies shoes,
Koi; Online, UK brand
Pictured (left) is me leaning against a concrete wall with one foot on the wall and (right) is me squatting while leaning my face against my right hand.Pictured (below) is me putting on gray headphones with the same concrete background. There are crocheted bows on both sides of the headphones.
I thrifted this flannel dress shirt at Goodwill and fell in love with it. Blue and orange are my favorite colors, so this combination wasn't far off. When looking for tops, I tend to gravitate towards the men’s dress shirts because they have a wide range of fabric and patterns/colors while having the same base fit of the shirt. Looking through women’s blouses is exhausting for me because each one is so unique in their size and fit. They were also almost ALWAYS unbearably uncomfortable. Sometimes I would find a cute one, but I would have to remind myself that I would probably start crying if I wore it for more than ten minutes.
Based on the prior, would you be surprised if I told you that I bought THREE pairs of checkered pants at the time I bought these ones. This was another way for me to have something consistent, but different. I really like the combinations of patterns I could make with the checkered base. As is evident here, I am a fan of the flannel on checker, basically the checker on checker.
These yellow Teletubbies shoes were not thrifted, but I did buy them on sale. Now THIS is a way to spice up a business casual outfit. Of course, paired with Christmas cactus socks (any time and any season).
My two favorite accommodation staples are my Sony WH-1000XM4 headphones and my Neurolux™ glasses. I added crocheted bows to the sides of my headphones for some added fun.
On Repeat
Promise, Laufey
Pictured is a spoitfy player showing the current song on repeat, Promise by Laufey
References
Can’t forget these
Where do i fit
#003
Main Ideas
- Fashion and thrifting has helped me explore and understand my gender and audhd identities (yep, it’s all wrapped up together).
- I have always been interested in context and understanding my surroundings and how spaces shape my collective identity (yes, I have a degree in Psychology).
UFO Feeling
Relating to aliens and kind of dressing like one
By Bailey Falco
Let’s Talk...
Let’s talk my fascination with sci-fi
From books to movies to fashion
When I was in high school, I read everything Bradbury just as I did with Hemingway and soon after, Vonnegut. I quickly became all consumed by and obsessed with 1950s-1960s science fiction. Just like with the horror genre (another favorite of mine), the science fiction of a particular time is the echo of the time’s concerns, issues and greatest fears. When I first read Hemingway I fell in love with the dryness of it, but also the heart of it. I found a similar vibe in the 50s-60s sci-fi I read. It may have been a similar diction and syntax, or it may have been the blank state possibility of a post-nuke world or a vast and (supposedly) empty planet ripe for terraforming that paralleled that feeling.
I liked the aesthetic of metal and the fashion of obscure; when the monsters were just giant ants mutated by radiation (Them!, 1954) or the aliens were people in fun costuming (Star Trek). I love the painted backgrounds, practical effects, and abundance of gray glittery fabric. I’ve been obsessed with robots and AI since I watched the iconic movie Smart House (1999), a Disney Channel original movie, and War Games (1983). The concepts did not scare me but intrigued me. I was obsessed with what the fear was, where it came from, and why. In addition, the truth is, I have always felt aloof, or like a spectacle, like an alien, and felt deeply connected to the stories that featured them.
Also, do not come at me, but I did not care much for Dune (1965) by Frank Herbert.
- I, Robot (1950),Isaac Asimov
- Slaughterhouse 5 (1969), Kurt Vonnegut
- The Martian Chronicles (1950), Ray Bradbury
- Stranger in a Strange Land (1961), Robert A. Heinlein
- Astro Boy (1951), Osamu Tezuka
- Fahrenheit 451 (1953), Ray Bradbury
- Frankenstein (1818),Mary Shelley
- The Left Hand of Darkness (1969), Ursula K. Le Guin
- Photo of Ursula K. Le Guin
As I was thinking about the 50s and 60s science fiction that I initially started reading in high school and fell in love with, I realized all of the authors were men. It took me how many years to realize this? Well, this is a blog about raising consciousness and awareness of identity formation after all, isn't it? In my high school, and akin to many high schools in the United States, the literature curriculum revolved around ‘classic literature’ and even within the genre, centered men. It was not as if women were not writing. But it felt like it. Even when we read Frankenstein (1818), we barely glossed over who Mary Shelley was and how her work is considered the first work of science fiction. I decided to research science fiction writers in the 50s-70s who were women. I want to read their works. As you can imagine it was quite overwhelming, so I decided to stick with one book that I want to start with. It is The Left Hand of Darkness (1969) by Ursula K. Le Guin. It was her first novel to win both the Hugo and Nebula Awards, the two biggest honors of the genre.
I am excited to read this novel because of its criticism from fans, including feminists. However, I want to read it first before I delve into what those criticisms were and are. Stay tuned. Book club anyone?
Okay, so where are the autistic non-binaries in science fiction? That is more research to be done. Will it be me? I am writing a series of science fiction short stories currently.
OOTD
34dB Shooting Ear Protection, Pro For Sho; Amazon
3-layered Pearl necklace
Blue whimsical robe, Simply Basic;
Goodwill, Ocean Twp
Dad’s Against Dating T-shirt, Gildan; ???
Black pleated skirt, DIVIDED H&M; Hospices of Hope,
Edinburgh UK
Big Red Boot, MSCHF
Pictured (left) is me leaning against a concrete wall with one foot on the wall and (right) is me looking into the distance with my robe off my left shoulder.
I thrifted this robe years and years ago. I wanted it because of its aura of a wizard robe. I thought that one day maybe I would play D&D and I could sew silver stars on it. Little did I know I would eventually play D&D and find it difficult and combative with how my brain works. Is there anything more alienating than being autistic and not being able to play D&D? Honestly, I do not think so. Maybe I can make my little outfit and be a character that is just an observer; I would like that. My mind is primarily visual and geared toward written communication rather than verbal. Sometimes I wish everyone would just have subtitles and that I could draw the map and all the characters and everything that was happening IN PAINSTAKING DETAIL, but that’s not the game. There is an added problem; I do not like fantasy.
I do not remember where I thrifted this t-shirt from. But I wore it so ironically at a time when I wasn’t dating anybody, and I hadn’t yet. You know I love my iconic Dad clothing.
Before you judge me for buying these boots, please remember my obsession with 60s science fiction and Astro boy. Could I afford them at the time I bought them? Maybe not. Can I not drive with them on? No, I can’t, and it really limits how much I can wear them while I am living in a suburb. Someone needs to drive me around town or something.
If you want to REALLY cancel noise I would reccomend getting your hands on some shooting ear protection grade earmuffs. I still wish I could hear nothing, but these are pretty darn close.
Hospices of Hope
I thrifted this pleated skirt from a charity shop in Edinburgh, UK. The shop is called Hospices of Hope. Walking through the streets of Edinburgh there are countless mini charity shops. It makes me think of how people living in the city have a wide choice of where they want to donate their clothes and where they want to thrift from. Living in a suburb makes it difficult to travel to different stores. You can get on a bus in Edinburgh and access shops with an assortment of missions. In a suburb, the ease of donating to select causes is not there. Goodwill is close to me, and the United States is filled with them (4,245 in the US to be exact). They are hard to escape.
“To improve the quality of life for all patients needing palliative care and their families in South and East Europe by increasing provision and access to palliative care services, bereavement support and training of medical personnel, wherever possible working through our main country partners.”
Hospices of Hope Mission Statement
When I left Edinburgh, I donated the clothes that I was not taking home with me to this charity shop. I did so because of the location (it was right down the street from my flat) and because the people who worked there were always kind to me. There were too many things going on with my mind and the change and the exhaustion for me to stop and think and process like I am doing now. This is the curse of having a sensory processing disorder and living in a fast-paced society I suppose. It would have been fun to research the different shops; it’s a cool feature of the city I could have taken advantage of and now, I can’t. I don't have to donate to Goodwill, but it is what’s accessible to me.
& That’s all,
Thank you
Oh wait!
Almost forgot
On Repeat
Don’t Fence Me In, Bing Crosby
Pictured is a spoitfy player showing the current song on repeat, Don’t Fence Me In by Bing Crosby
Where do i fit
#004
Main Ideas
- Fashion and thrifting has helped me explore and understand my gender and audhd identities (yep, it’s all wrapped up together).
- I have always been interested in context and understanding my surroundings and how spaces shape my collective identity (yes, I have a degree in Psychology).
Depop
Is this thrifting?
By Bailey Falco
Let’s Talk...
Let’s Talk Depop
The difference between online and in-person thrifting
Depop was originally founded in 2011 in Roncade, Italy; however, its headquarters is based in London, with additional offices in Manchester, Milan, and NYC.
Most of the items sold through the site are used and vintage pieces of clothing. While it may not be the same thrill as taking your chances at physical thrift stores, it does provide some considerable advantages (that also carry some disadvantages).
You can look for specific pieces that you are interested in down to the brand, year, and design. I can find vintage clothing, florals, and funky and all. I would like to search for some bellbottoms.
It provides an easy-to-navigate and specialized platform for people to profit off their love for thrifting.
It is entirely online! You can navigate items of all sorts without leaving your home. Are you disabled and physical spaces are hard to navigate because of the nature of your disability? It does not help that public spaces are still not made accessible today. In my audhd experience, my sensory thresholds vary day to day. Sometimes I want to touch every fabric and look at all the little items, but other days, I can’t tolerate it. If I am looking for a specific item, that I know would take time to search for and I do not have the energy or tolerance to do so, it is helpful to have access via my phone, and is a great alternative to using Amazon. However, there is a disconnect with the community when buying items online. There is more of a focus on the product itself and not its history and relation to a specific space.
Pictured is an illustration of an Instagram post. The image is the Depop logo repeated four times with the text in black and a red background.
While no business is ethical, and the proceeds do not benefit a cause, it allows you to shop more ethically instead of buying new items, encouraging fast fashion. Fast fashion contributes to an excess of clothing made primarily by women (80% are women) in ‘developing’ countries who rarely earn a living wage and often earn less than their male counterparts. I use quotations because that is the word used, but I have an issue with the way power and colonialism contribute to the way we divvy up and describe countries based on Western-defined metrics of development.
In a survey distributed by Fashion Checker,
of 312 brands reported not paying
garment workers a living wage.
Who were those brands?
They included brands such as Abercrombie & Fitch, Aeropostale Inc., Amason.com, Inc. (Amazon Essentials),
Asos, Balenciaga, Burlington Stores, Canada Goose, Costco Wholesale (Kirkland Signature), DSW Inc,
Dick’s Sporting Goods, Target, Vans, UGG, and of course Shein. I have included a link to three articles below,
two of which have helpful infographics about the topic. The Medium article also has an audio option.
93%
The criticism
Relating to #3, people have critiqued how sellers will thrift items and sell them for a higher price. Which, when it comes down to it, I do not find the greatest issue with. Here is why. On one side of the coin, it could allow autistic people with a special interest in fashion and thrifting to profit from something they enjoy when maybe they struggle to be employed otherwise.
Pictured is an illustration short light pink athletic shorts and a cream turtleneck sweater with a strip and circle pattern at the neckline and on the sleeves.
85%
of autistic adults are unemployed
However, this statistic only accounts for people who are diagnosed with Autism, which is an expensive and almost impossible thing to do when you were not diagnosed as a child. There needs to be more nuance in how these statistics are derived, and a more thorough investigation into the autistic experience in the workforce, diagnosed and self-diagnosed. Further, many autistics are underemployed, another area needing exploration. I could not find statistics for this.
As I mentioned earlier, it is a business. One reason people price items highly is because Depop charges sellers, and it can get a bit confusing at that end when you have to consider the percentage the company takes from sales and shipping costs. However, there is the concern of people thrifting everything ‘good’ (which is subjective, but laden in the brands and eras we attribute value to) and overpricing the finds for a profit online. Overall, I do not think Depop is the worst, as it does have its advantages, but we need to work towards something better.
OOTD
Ya know what they say (specifically that one person on Tiktok who made that viral video) - Shave your head, wigs are cheap on Depop
In December 2019, TikTok user @vampdivision (now @bussygoblin666) posted a video that said:
This is a PSA to all the girls who want to shave their head. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it NOW. Because you know what? In five years from now, if you don’t shave your head, you can never say you shaved your head. You can never tell your kids that you shaved your head. Do you really want to look like a lame-ass parent? No! Shave that fucking head! No one’s gonna stop you. And if people make fun of you, fuck it! You only live once, it’s gonna grow back. Don’t listen to people. Listen to your brain and your mind (that was the same thing). Regardless, do it! Just do it, okay? Literally, there’s no cons. You may have mental breakdowns because you can’t do your hair right – get a wig! Wigs are cheap on Depop. Just do it.
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.”
Short blonde Bob Wig;
La Cruces, New Mexico
Depop
Montreal Hockey Jersey;
Montreal Gift Shop
Crocheted cropped sweater;
Miscbybailey
Eyeball Horror Muay Thai Shorts; Yokkao
Skull Crocs,
Crocs
Pictured (left) is me leaning against a concrete wall with one foot on the wall, (right, top) is a close-up of the fabrics of my shorts, shirt, and sweater, and (right, bottom) is a close-up of my jersey showing Montreal in all caps and my cropped multi-colored sweater ending at the wording.
Pictured (left) is me wearing the short blonde wig
In this outfit, only this wig is from Depop. I currently have the urge to grow a bob, but I know I couldn't do it for sensory reasons, and I’ll end up shaving it if I try. Depop does allow you to find cheap wigs that people bought, used a few times, and would otherwise end up in a landfill. And this one doesn't look too bad for being $20, I might add. This one is not as great quality as the one I have pictured further down, but with a little work, it has potential.
I have purchased items here and there from Depop in the past, but they do not fit me anymore. In 2021, when I was obsessed with tennis skirts, I bought a vintage light purple one that I LOVED, but alas, it is too big now. When I see Challengers (2024), I might have to return to my tennis skirt era.
I am wearing a Montreal hockey jersey that I found in a gift shop when I visited Montreal. The shop we went into had older and used jerseys. I’m not sure of the origin of this one. It might have been on the tag when I bought it, but it has long escaped my mind. I used to love hockey and watched it religiously in high school because I liked the fast-paced movement of the puck; it quieted my brain. However, I quit cold turkey when I received an 85% on a Physics test, which I was also obsessed with at the time.
I am also wearing these SICK horror Yokkao Muay Thai shorts with eyeballs all over them that I treated myself to when I used to box. I miss boxing a lot, but unfortunately can’t afford it at the moment.
I made this sweater myself. I am obsessed with the repetitive movements associated with this crochet pattern, and I can’t stop making them. If you are interested and want to see more of my creations, check out my shop on Instagram @miscbybailey.
Searching for any wig caps, I found the first wig I bought after the first time I shaved my head in 2018. This is the best wig and my favorite wig that I own. I love how I can have the option to take my hair off when I'm overstimulated. I can wear it as long as I want or as short as I want. I have had this My Neighbor Totoro (1988) shirt for maybe five years now but have hardly worn it. It was a women’s fit, which bothered me deep into my core, so I cropped it and cut the sleeves clean off; now I love it.
Pictured (left) are two photos of me wearing an orange and yellow ombre wig and orange tinted circle glasses.
References
On Repeat
Ambrosia, Rosie Tucker
Pictured is a spoitfy player showing the current song on repeat, Ambrosia by Rosie Tucker